January 2025 - My Feudal Lord
Our book group was held at Ambareen Qasim’s home on Monday, 27th January, attended by 12 members, physically, and participated by 14 members in total with 2 members sending in their responses.
Tehmina Durrani was born into a prominent family in Lahore, Pakistan. Growing up amidst luxury, she faced immense pressure to conform to societal ideals. Like all women of her social standing, she was expected to marry well, raise children, and lead a life of privilege.
Tehmina’s initial marriage to Anees, a man lower in social status than her, began with romance but she soon got bored with him. Subsequently she got involved with Ghulam Mustafa Khar, a leading political figure in Punjab, Pakistan. Their affair blossomed amidst scandal, and she left her first husband for him.
The thrill of marrying a feudal lord swiftly turned into a nightmare. Khar’s possessiveness escalated into extreme jealousy, isolating Tehmina from her friends and family. Her marriage soured into a tragic experience of emotional and physical abuse. Khar succeeded in cutting his wife off from the outside world and for the course of the fourteen-year marriage, she suffered alone.
When Tehmina decided to rebel, the price she paid was extremely high. She signed away all financial support, lost the custody of her four children, found herself alienated from her friends and disowned by her parents. Following the divorce, she felt she had to tell her story.
A majority of the members felt that the book was biased and carried a personal agenda of vengeance towards Khar. The author tried too hard to portray herself as totally naive and innocent. We all felt that she was a home wrecker trying to gain sympathy. Her actions, such as abandoning her eldest daughter and marrying a married man and leading politician in Pakistan, sparked strong reactions. Two of our members personally knew some of the personalities in the book and their insights added depth to the discussion. Some members were unfamiliar about the feudal system and various other cultural norms of Pakistan, and they found it to be a compelling topic. Hence, we had a very vocal meeting.
The group rated the book a 6/10.
Review written by Ambareen Qasim